Loving Our "Other"

Dear Reader,

Today I'd like to share a tidbit from another Mother's Magazine (Can you tell I really love this magazine?), dated June, 1916. This one is about marriage especially, but I believe that we could adapt it to any relationship that we might be in; familial or friendly. The article is quite long, so you might want to print it out for reading later.

Marriage

Every girl who is about to be married has in her mind a roseate picture of what she expects life ahead of her to be. The years ought to bring fulfillment of every good expectation; and they may be expected to bring, in addition to the joys, a full share of trials. There will be mistakes and griefs and heart-burnings and disappointments. These cannot be avoided, and they should be met with fortitude; for it is only through such experiences that one gains the wisdom that insures ultimate peace and happiness.

The right kind of girl possesses a wonderful power over her husband. The use she makes of this power during the first few weeks after marriage determines to a very great extent the kind of husband she will have. If she is frivolous, foolish, and thoughtless, her influence will soon weaken and pass away, and she will lost her charm for her husband. But if she is sweet and womanly and holds to high ideals, her influence will be permanent.

A girl should do her criticising before marrying, and not make the mistake of marrying and then trying to reconstruct a man's character, disposition, and habits. In other words, she should not try to accomplish the miraculous.

My husband Ken, and me

A fundamental precept of married life is: avoid giving pain or exposing the loved one to ridicule. We should never touch those subjects that are the "sore spots" with persons dear to us, or forget that a laugh ill-timed or malapropos may wound more deeply than the bitterest sneer. Women are said to be more senstive than men. The truth is that some women are more sensitive than some men; but some men are more sensitive than some women. The degree is sensitiveness depends upon the early training and standards of conduct of the individual.

Still cozy after all these years!

Most girls marry men who have to work, and work hard, to find daily bread for their families. The husband who knows that his money will be expended with judgment, and for the benefit of his family and home, works with double energy. A wisely managed family exchequer is a powerful influence for family peace. Every girl should study buying, and every bride should teach herself to use thrift in her purchases. Many young couples come to grief through the reckless waste of money by a bride who has never been taught the value of dollars and cents.

Marriage frequently fails because the husband does not live up to the standard of honor which a man must maintain if he is to hold the respect of his wife; if often fails because the wife does not deal honorably with her husband in the daily business of life. Marriage is a partnership. Deception, duplicity, and concealment are fatal to its success. Full, frank speaking is the only safeguard. There should be equal rights in every discussion, fair debate, consideration, and fair play, for these are the foundations of the ideal marriage. If the young wife keeps her standards of honor high, she can demand from her husband as high standards as her own.

The life of love and trust in which man and wife are all in all to each other is the acme of human experience. The only way to attain this life is for the newly married to start out with the firm determination to make the best of each other, and of everything that comes into their lives, the unpleasant as well as the pleasant.

All life is a progression. Married life must progress, or it cannot succeed. Where it stands still, stagnation ensues; it degenerates into mere existence, and mere existence for the normal human being, is intolerable.

Marriage is a process of adjustment of two lives to each other, and to society. A wife should not try to keep husband to herself. The world is necessary to them both. Life is not complete without the respect and confidence of others, no matter how happy the home, or how nearly perfect the relations of husband and wife.

The human mind is capable of infinite joy; it is also capable of immeasurable depths of sorrow. In their love for each other, husband and wife should find means to make all differences the opportunites for growth. Progress is the only means of preserving blessings, and each new tomorrow should be brighter and better than today.

Love,

Marqueta